So, in a fun and exciting follow up to Valentine’s Day biopsies, I went for my results appointment yesterday morning.
My own contradictions always give me a giggle, even when the situation isn’t funny at all. Here I have been, waiting for results, and wishing the wait could just be shorter/faster/over. I finally get into the room at the Doctor’s office, and I want time to slow down completely so that I can be an ostrich for just a few moments.
Of course, at those moments, time never moves like molasses in January. The Doctor came in relatively quickly – for a Doctor’s office – and informed me that I have breast cancer.
I guess the only word for how I feel is “fragile.” Maybe shellshocked would work a bit too, but fragile seems to cover all options. I have complete faith in the best outcome, but I still feel like I took a huge punch and am still dizzy from it.
Oddly enough, I am stuck waiting because some results are not back yet. And waiting because a referral to the oncologist did not get sent to the HMO. And waiting because the oncologist cannot see me without approval from the HMO. And so on…
That is really all the news I have. No creativity blossoming right now, and very little tact or diplomacy left at the moment.