And so it goes…

And goes…and goes!  Well, here we are, coming down to the wire.  I have this sneaking suspicion that, when I go in to see the oncologist on Wednesday, I will still have one heck of a wait in front of me here.  At this point, I can’t tell if that is my gut instinct, or just resignation to the current state of affairs: also known as – everything else has been slower than molasses in January, so why would this be any different?

I hate to admit I have pretty much done my best rendition of a fountain lately.  In the space of one hour, I seem to fall apart dozens of times.  Maybe this is the grieving portion of my process, I do not know.  All I do know is if I cry any more than I have been lately, I will need an IV to keep me hydrated! 🙂

Today was actually a really wonderful day for me.  I spent time with an old friend, had lunch with my mother, found out disability had approved me at last (one less thing to worry about there).  So the pressure on my shoulders has lessened slightly.  And my mother gave me fantastically brilliant news today.  We were talking about my fears, and she informed me that these surgeries will hurt “a lot less” than childbirth.  Finally, someone gives me a reference point I can follow!  A lot less than childbirth? Hallelujah!!!!  That, I can handle!

I wish I had some seriously funny things to write, as I used to.  But even the humour has a bit of a nasty edge to it these days, you know?  I am still taking recommendations of what we should do to preserve the ta-tas once they have been removed (chopped or hacked off, as the girlfriend likes to say — ewwwwwwwww)!  So far, most people seem to vote for mounting them on the wall like a trophy.  And I do thank that lovely person who offered me a tattoo artist to recreate my girlfriend’s favorite mole (since Becky is mourning that impending loss, even now)! 🙂

My children are adjusting, my son is still completely fascinated by the process of all of these tests, my daughter is (thank the Lord!) talking about her feelings and worries still.  Poor Becky and I hit some rough spots and finally learned how to speak a language the other can understand (no small achievement, even among women – forget that Mars/Venus garbage, Venus/Venus is tricky enough).

So, until Wednesday, in all likelihood, I hope you are all blessed and happy in all you do.  Countdown to Wednesday…GO!

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