Desperately Seeking…

Something.  Pretty sure it isn’t Susan! 🙂

Yesterday I was allowed to dive back into laundry, medically allowed, that is.  This morning, I was unbelievably sore.  And then we had our “morning incident.”  (FYI, when you have 5 children, morning incidents are a nearly daily occurrence!)  The incident itself was fine, but the result turned out to be terrible:  I had to drive two of the five children to school before they would be late for ITBS testing.  And I was only clued into that state of affairs 3 minutes prior to the absolute latest time we could walk out the door and still make it.  In other words, far too late for me to call any of the handful of people willing to be my chauffeur.  Grrrrr.  But, hey — from what I have been told, as long as I am not medicated I am allowed to drive already.

Sure.  I’ll buy that for a dollar.  Maybe I can drive if I haven’t overdone things the previous day.  Maybe only straight roads are okay.  We piled into the van (four kids actually came with me, even though only two had to get to school right away) and headed up the road.  And then I had to navigate a right hand turn.

What is it with lymph nodes? I mean, my right side feels sort of okay, but the left side is just horrid!  It hurts, it swells occasionally, I can look like I have Farmer John sausage links for fingers (and I am typing this one-handed, just so you know), all because of a single lymph node being removed.

So, when your left side is screaming agony and you make a right hand turn, it doesn’t matter how many children are in the car: you just start bawling.  I got my two to their school, tears pouring down my face, hunched over the wheel, feeling like the world’s biggest sissy, and then had to get home.  The only thing at risk in this drive was me.  I hadn’t taken a pain pill, and I kept my driving consistent even though I REALLY didn’t want to (good thing I am the most stubborn woman you will ever meet).  But still, I couldn’t unbuckle my seatbelt when I got home, couldn’t open my door.  This sucks.

Of course, I have been in bed all day now.  Tonight is a big treat night for the kids — going out to Kobe.  And I am resting up to be ready.  I am not sure how to adjust to this new state of affairs.  I know that no one else in this house has adjusted, because they consistently “forget” that I can’t do it all, or even a fraction of what I used to do.

It’s insane.  More insane when I look at it from the standpoint of my relationship: Beck and I have been together LESS THAN one year.  Yep.  That’s right.  In our first year, we are dealing with child custody, five children, cancer and chemo.  Aren’t these things “supposed” to happen over the course of decades in a marriage? 🙂  (That is, if they happen at all.)

Well, one thing we know for sure:  Beck and I will know fully how we each handle crisis, and we are getting that information early on.

I hope all of you are well and in good spirits, and I am sending blessings…

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