Whole > Sum #ArchiveDay

Yes, I used a math symbol.  The whole is greater than the sum.  That’s my title, and I am sticking to it.  Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I think the actual saying might be the opposite — but, no matter!!!  I will take that idiom and twist it around until it suits my purposes! Yes, I will.

Before I had surgery earlier this year, I wrote a blog article entitled “How My Breasts Define Me.”  The punchline being, of course, that they do not.  Although I can’t say for sure if that really counts as a punchline when it is simply a basic fact.

So, here I am: I am 34 years old; I have survived breast cancer but I have had a bilateral mastectomy; I am still going through chemo; I have lost all my hair; physically, I am as different as I could be from my former self.

Part the discovery of this journey has been who cares about the “cover” more than the actual “story.”  Either I am Pollyanna (which is a tendency of mine, I admit) or you all would be surprised by how many people cared more for how I looked than they were able to care for me.

I say I live in a bubble right now, and I do.  The occupants of that bubble are only those people I allow in: no negativity, no judgment, and no superficiality.  We plan on having one hell of a kick *ss party when this cancer/chemo stuff is over…all five of us.  Yes, that’s right, five people only.  We are a small but lively bunch.  And I believe we may have designed “Party Rock Anthem” as the theme song to chemotherapy.

I am more than the size of my breasts; more than the pretty hair I lost;  I have earned every wrinkle I have and I am proud to report that most of them are still laugh lines; I may look different;  I may not appear to be what others would be most comfortable with, and maybe I wouldn’t win any beauty contests right this second.  For those of you who have made my looks all important, I have one thing to say:

Bite me.

My looks will change again when my good health has been restored, but those people will not be brought back.

My best friend wrote a “thank you” letter to Cancer the other day: thanking Cancer for all of the garbage it had taken from my life.

It’s true.  Without Cancer, I would still be wandering through my life, misled about the intentions and feelings of those who once said they loved me.

I know what love is now, and all I can say is most blessed, most fortunate, me.

Blessings to you all…

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