Funny Relationship Excuses…a Compilation

Yes, it is yet another list!  This one meant for silliness, and a sort of slapstick (if you will) look at what happens to us when we are caught in that “deer in the headlights” moment in love.  I have wonderful friends, who share their classic moments with me as they occur, and I have to share some of the laughter.

So, here we go…excuses, cop outs, and possible breakup lines:

1.  “I can’t hang.”  Hmmmmmmmmm.

2.  “He’s on the roof.”  (Oddly enough, this tale was accompanied by police helicopters and search lights.  Poor man really was on the roof.)

3.  “I don’t believe in monogamy.”  (Strangely enough, these are the first people to restrict their partners and require monogamy from them.)

4.  “See, what had happened was there was this guy.  Yeah, this guy, and he took my phone and then…”  “So, what did he look like?”  “Who?”  Yep, this happened.

5.  “I’m going out to grab some coffee.”  Next call, two years later.  That better have been some REALLY phenomenal coffee.

6.  “It’s not about the journey, it’s the cli-i-i-mbbbbb.”  Never a good sign, if a man sings Miley Cyrus to defend himself.

7.  “I didn’t think you’d mind.”

8.  “She’s my cousin.”  In that case, ewwwww.  Just, ewwwwwwwwww.

9.  “I can’t find my clothes.”  In that case, cupcake, you need not show up.  At all.  Ever.

10.  A classic.  “Sorry, but I really need to wash my hair.”

11.  My classic – “Sorry.  I don’t have a sitter.”  Lol.  I often didn’t have sitters back in those days, but many requested dates I didn’t even bother to try to FIND a sitter.

12.  “It’s not like I cheated.  I just made out with her and spent the night at her place.”  Some people apparently cannot think when cornered.

13.  “I meant you!  I was talking about you!  I just didn’t notice your eyes weren’t brown.”  Ahhhhhhh, I really don’t know what to say for commentary here.

14.  “My goldfish died.”  Seems like this should be a joke, but has been used in real life.

These are just a few of my personal favorites, some my own, some my friends’.  We tend to run them all together for jokes, and new people to the crowd are often forced to keep up with the bizarre stringing together of concepts.

Feeling silly tonight – can’t you tell?  But, still, and always — blessings to you all…

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