I have a quirky sense of humor (if you haven’t noticed that by now). At times, I am the only one laughing – just look back at some of my cancer blogs, and you will realize this is true. 🙂
Along with the humor comes my own unique way of communicating. I manipulate the English language to suit my purposes, pretty much all the time. Then, I use that to further the humor. (Of course.)
So, I constantly crack jokes about “safe words.” On a recent get together with friends, I pointed out that the worst safe word on Earth has to be “more.” This would get a mite confusing, no? I voted for usage of a word like “chartreuse.” How often do you use the word chartreuse in any given day?
All of this bizarre humor led to a bit of a miscommunication with my own Lara, my very dear Tumour Raider. Despite all of my healthy remedies, I am human and occasionally I just want a chocolate bar. While driving to pick up Maddie from a choir event, we stopped at an AMPM so I could satisfy my completely unhealthy, inorganic craving. Once inside, there was quite a slow line with this gigantically tall man at the register. Just as my cell phone vibrates, he turns around and I realize “oh my goodness, that’s…!” I look at my phone, and Lara has sent only one thing: “2.” She wanted me to buy two chocolate bars. She had dropped me off and driven away from the crowded parking area, so she was at a bit of a distance. I simply replied “David Hasselhoff” without giving a single thought to the fact that I constantly twist the English language up to mean unique things.
So, Lara comes tearing up to the parking area in her car to come save me because clearly “David Hasselhoff” means “there’s a robbery in progress!” The only trouble is, she can’t get to me because a Lincoln Navigator is in her way. As she stews and worries for my safety she turns to glare at the driver and suddenly realizes, “OHHHHHHH, DAVID HASSELHOFF!” And she starts laughing like a lunatic, scant feet from David Hasselhoff’s face.
She is now voting for “David Hasselhoff” as a safe word. I think she already turned that into one.
For random thoughts, I felt like a midget when he walked by me — he is REALLY tall. Also, I was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t wearing a “Don’t Hassle the Hoff” tee shirt. Lara was disappointed that the shop clerk asked me if that was “the guy from Baywatch.” His greatest oeuvre was, hands down, Knight Rider.
If this blog is somehow mislabeled in a tag and I read that David Hasselhoff held up an AMPM, I am going to feel really guilty.
I am hoping this gave you all some very healing laughter! Blessings to you all…