This past week I’ve had a strange reminder of how life has changed.
You see, I caught a cold: a garden-variety, run-of-the-mill head cold. I was miserable, sneezing, achy, whiny, and tired. Still, not a big deal. In the grand scheme of things, a head cold is just one of those things – a short timeframe of discomfort, and some Nyquil. 🙂
That is, right up until Moses asked me: “Are you going to die?”
It sounds funny, and even could be comedic – except he meant it in all seriousness.
So, 3 plus years of remission, and here’s what cancer still does around here:
– My children still think I’m fragile
– At the first sign of illness, my son fakes illness at school to come home and take care of me (this involves him staring at me, and waking me up when I start to nap)
– My neurosis (because you know I have those) is that each new spot on my skin might be some type of cancer. (FYI, they’re actually called barnacles. I’m growing damn barnacles.)
– My daughter studies genetics and informs me that it’s virtually 100% likely that both of them have inherited my mutated BRCA1 gene (these factoids age me quickly, or shave years off of my life)
– just in case you are thinking that it’s all bad news: every single day, I am joyful (no, really, even when I’m grumpy I am joyful)
– I have FINALLY learned not to sweat the small stuff
– it’s easier to teach my children how to take risks and be fearless, because no amount of social anxiety is as scary as cancer
– in the big picture, we are together and we are well: nothing else matters more
So, some whining and some optimism. My inner Pollyanna likes to come out! 🙂
Happy Monday, write on…Blessings!